Why I don't like reggae...

Contentious I know but it's true. People have the same look on their faces as when I tell them I don't drink alcohol or like strawberries - utter horror and incomprehension. I will explain but first - I would like to say for the record that last time I checked we were all free to have our own personal tastes - this is one of mine.
I have grown up predominantly in England. My Mum is Scottish and my Dad was Nigerian - I don't have any Caribbean family. Growing up a large part of my experiences with reggae were as follows: sun comes out (for 10 minutes). White people decide to have barbecue (NB this is just my experience not the whole picture I'm describing). Requirements for a successful barbecue - beer and reggae. Possibly sausages. Drunken renditions of Redemption song follow.
Please see extreme German example below.

I am well known for not liking reggae, however this weekend I braved it at Stokefest and entered the reggae tent. There I stayed for a whole hour, such is my love for my friends. Here are my observations: Reggae always sounds much better on a huge soundsystem. Reggae also sounds better when you are surrounded by people from Grenada, St Vincent, Dominica and various other Caribbean Isles who have fantastic dancing skills. Reggae seems to attract an amazing number of very sweaty, pale, topless men and rotund red ladies with missing front teeth. It also seems to attract a number of very hungry looking young men keen to introduce themselves to you with their belt buckles first. I think. Reggae has a very unique smell. I could go on however I had to leave at this point due to a large number of expensively dressed middle class 12 year olds rolling herbal cigarettes and shouting 'Mmm yah!Pass the lighter blud' - reggae apparently affected their spacial awareness.

*To clarfiy - I find reggae too slow and I don't connect with it. I especially don't like Roots Reggae and remixes of Take That songs with 'Jah' substituted for 70% of the words. I'm not keen on dub or ska either. I'm not a fan of trustafarians or their bongos. I do like ragga/ dancehall. I respect many reggae artists and you can't dislike Bob Marley. I also like Aba Shanti man. I am aware you now think I am a music heathen - especially since I listen to hip hop (yes Kool Herc started it so reggae gave birth to hip hop). I just don't really like it. Sorry.